Herbert West (herbert_west) wrote,
Herbert West

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How did you lose your virginity?

Virginity. Ha! What an antiquated notion. Sexual antics are a necessity for reproduction and one’s first time engaging in something that every living thing does is not cause for note or celebration. It means nothing in terms of “coming of age.” There’s nothing “special” about it.

My associate, Daniel, is smirking at me. No, perhaps it’s more of a leer. I’m sure he takes my attitude as definitive proof that I have not “lost my virginity,” as it was so crudely put. He, of course, could probably quote you a date, time, name, and home phone number of the person to whom he lost his.

Lost. Ha. As if we had simply misplaced it and are making a valiant effort to retrieve our innocence. Well, Dan is guided by his hormones, turned easily by firm breasts, smooth skin, and soft hair; thus, he is not to be trusted. He was going to marry Megan, after all. I am, naturally, above something so petty. I feel no need to sleep beside another warm body, to feel false and ephemeral comfort in the arms of another, to relent to a biology that I will soon make obsolete. And I feel no need to glorify it as others do, as there is little glory or appeal in the fumblings of children thrust together through violence and circumstance.

If anything, my virginity was lost to me the first time I inserted the tip of a needle beneath malleable folds of excess skin, pushed to the stiffer muscle below, depressed the stopper, and watched my life’s purpose take its first painful breath beneath my hands. Birth is so much more memorable and stimulating than orgasm.

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